POV Potpourri
Authors of many furry stories cannot retain the same perspective throughout the entire story, or in some cases, even within the same paragraph. This happens frequently in yiff stories, where the narrator tells us what the male and the female are feeling as they mount each other, while skimming over their feelings throughout the rest of the story. The description jumps back and forth from what the male and the female or Chakat are experiencing, seemingly at random, instead of being of one consistent POV throughout. Writers of Chakat stories often use telepathy as a crutch to conceal the fact that they don't know how to write close third. Here is a prime example: "Yes, yes! Yes!" Van Peer cried in triumph as Taurger’s shaft slipped free of its sheath and directly into hir waiting slit. Pressing back with hir hips and pulling with hir tail, shi hungrily received all that emerged.'*What’s shi so happy about?* was all Taurger could think as his vision blurred and shiver ran the length of his body. He felt dizzy, like he was in a racing roller coaster he couldn’t anticipate. So he clenched his jaw and inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself. It didn’t work. The world reeled around him, and he pressed down to keep from staggering. Lust was not a new sensation for Van Peer, but not like this and not for many, many years. More of Taurger’s shaft emerged, and shi clamped hir tail over his rump, trying to squeeze more inside hir. Muscles twitched involuntarily, which felt so good shi squeezed deliberately. The sensation of pressure finally forced its way through Taurger’s rut-addled thoughts, the haze of Van Peer’s heat scent, and the lust flooding from hir mind. Confused, he tried to rise, but found himself bearing the weight of the Professor’s back end. His shaft slid out only slightly. -Taurger's Tail (www.furry.org.au/chakat/Stories/Taurger.htm) Notice how the writer, probably typing with only one hand, jumps immediately from the thought processes of one character to the other and back with complete disregard to effective writing techniques. Here's some more solid evidence:' Curious about what was happening and put off that shi wasn't included, Van Peer went closer. When shi heard someone may have been poisoned by the sting of something like a scorpion shi was terribly concerned, having seen the suffering of several victims and at least one child's death from scorpion venom back on Earth. When shi learned who was stung shi didn't know what to think. That pop-culture educated, self-important, attractive . . . *ahem* . . . was injured by one of the local hazards? Confused and uncertain, shi saw Taurger being lifted and carried inside. As they approached hir position beside the entrance a sneer formed on hir face.Taurger had arrived at the home caves carried on the back of Goldeneye, who insisted he not exert himself walking. By then his leg felt like it had been stuck in a fire and he appreciated the help.-Taurger's Bad Day by Wayne Cook (www.furry.org.au/chakat/Stories/Taurger.htm) Notice how it jumps from the POV of the antagonist, who wants to gloat over the hero, and immediately jumps to his leg pain. And then someone confronts the character for being pompous to the point of making them run off. "David grinned at the two of them as they grinned back. This is how it should be. I hope that we can continue to have lunches together once classes start. He would have been surprised to know that his friends were thinking the same thing." From "Recovery" by Adrian Nunenkamp (www.chakatsden.com/chakat/Stories/Recovery01.htm) This one is glaringly obvious because it cannot be covered by Chakat telepathy. The narrator just felt like divulging the other characters' feelings in a narrative focused on the male human. "Can we please see your IDs one more time?" Goldstripe said. "Certainly," the man said, and both of them produced their badges. ‘Good thing that we have access to the right equipment. Theese fake badges can be quite genuine looking,’ the man thought. '' From: "Fredericke Weismann" (www.chakatsden.com/chakat//Stories/FrederikeWeismann-1.html) Well thanks for the convenient jump in POV. Fredericke is a human who has no mind reading ability. It is unlikely that any more mental dialogue will be written for these two mysterious strangers because they're the bad guys and the writer doesn't want the readers to even consider their thoughts because they're the bad guys and bad guys don't have feelings or motivations or personalities. So the whole paragraph surrounding these lines only serve to spoil a secret that will probably be revealed later anyway. ''"Billy Abrahams stood as discreetly as he could in the back of the crowd. He looked for the creature which he was supposed to give his little ‘present’ to, but it hadn’t shown up yet. He cursed inside. It was supposed to show up here. He decided to move on to see if it was further down the animal parade. As he did, he also noticed two police officers. ‘Or rather: a police officer and his wolf bitch in tow’ he thought as he tried to hide himself from the approaching officers." -Same story as above''' 'Again, the villain is painted in broad, undefined strokes that only to serve to establish the idea that we're supposed to hate the character - in this instance, because he calls one of the "good guys" a bitch. We're still far away from establishing a personality. Reading onward through Fredericke Weismann, this seems to be a continuing trend. For the rest of the story, we stay within the thoughts of the furry characters and the furry loving heroine, but for this one section, the thoughts of the antagonist are dumped upon us, and only the thoughts which are hateful, not ones about his family or other things that might make him seem like more than just a cardboard enemy. My suspicion is that he is about to be tried and sentenced for his thoughts, and killed or imprisoned before he even gets a chance to prove that he truly is an evil character. So basically it's an idealized version of the Ministry of Truth, where you aren't allowed to have a dissenting opinion or dislike someone without being killed.Actually, it's a genius move. Chakats can already read minds, so it's only natural they'd become the Thought Police. Sometimes the POV potpourri can occur with the narrative styles themselves. In The Colony, Taurger's Tale (www.furry.org.au/chakat/Stories/Taurger.htm), it begins with second person, then drops to third, with extreme incongruity: ''Hi. You're new, aren't you? Welcome to my little dream world. Wanna know what I do here? I dream like this sometimes when I'm halfway between awake and asleep. It's like sitting in a room just kinda talking about things, or tellin' you what's been happening to me. But this is the first time I can remember talking to somebody "new". Don't even know how I know that, since I can't see you. Can't hear you either, but I'll know what you want to say anyway. Is that somebody else back there? Hmm? Sure, I'll tell you what I've been doing. I started the day by waking up . . He woke up slowly this time. Usually he'd wake up all at once, but sometimes it was slow like this. One sense at a time. When it happened this way he liked to pretend he was exploring, discovering a new world instead of waking up in the one he'd gone to sleep in. It made starting the day a little less boring. Yes, there was a line in between, but it still doesn't make sense. Later on, in the same story, the POV bounces around even further: They’re double-teaming hir, Taurger thought, having seen this before during endless years of office politics. They’ll keep going back and forth so shi can’t concentrate on either of them. And within the same narrative, without even a dividing line: "Too bad," Pat said, deciding that the dirty pun shi’d immediately thought of should be left unsaid, at least around Taurger. "They managed to include a sizeable collection of artifacts using their system." And: "The furniture would have to be custom built to the walls, maybe even permanent," Rodney said, still doubtful but beginning to appreciate the idea’s potential. According to his story, the Colony is a group of humans that have turned into Chakats, so they wouldn't have acquired enough telepathic power to justify such a raping of third person narrative writing. But yet we jump into the minds of three different characters, for no apparent reason. ''With surprisingly few complications Katherine and Pat got Taurger through the narrow entrance to the den. Pat, who was average in size for an adult chakat, found hir shoulders came only slightly higher than hir bigger denmate’s armpit. By tilting a bit, shi was able to support the entire length of hir denmate’s arm, keeping him upright as he limped slowly forward. Side by side, they went to the Main Cavern, Katherine trailing after. *Those two make a nice couple,* shi thought, watching as their tails played an intricate, if unconscious, game of tag. "Pat stopped for directions to the latrine on the way out. That was really embarrassing." "Yeah, I made it. Then Pat walked me back in and the day got worse..." Breakfast consisted of a couple small fruits and a slice of some sort of melon. Not what Taurger would have preferred, but it seemed eggs over hard with grated cheese, wheat toast and fish sticks were going to be in short supply. Not to mention milk. Sausage, maybe. In fact, the kinds of things Taurger liked for breakfast required... I don't get the html coding for the dream portions, by the way. Another example:'' Taurger sympathized with the Professor. "Not exactly a great start for either of us, is it?" he said."What do you mean by that?" Van Peer asked coldly.'' Taurger shrugged. "First you and I go head to head. Now I’m out with this leg and they’ve got you cubsitting." Without looking at Van Peer he added, "Your background is at least of some use. All I ever learned was computers. Even if I were walking I wouldn’t be of much use."''Van Peer opened hir mouth to say something, but couldn’t think of anything. *Damn you! You embarrass me in front of everyone, and now you’re commiserating! I can’t even make myself say something to cut you down! Why can’t I say something to hurt you?* '' Again, note the jump from Taurger's POV to Van Peer's POV, with only a paragraph or two between them.Actually, most of the story is like this. ''Stopping, Taurger just stared at the tuxedo chakat. Hearing hir use the new pronouns was like a warning flag. Van Peer looked back, nervously stroking the kitten on hir shoulder. Taurger sighed. "Okay, whadda ya want, Professor?""What do you mean?" Van Peer asked. Inwardly shi cringed. *I blew it! Shi’s on to me!"I mean first we try to shut each other down. Then its keep your distance. Now you’re talking like we’re buddies or somethin’.""I... ah... Van Peer stammered. *Calm down! This time you have the truth on your side! Sometimes this spoils an otherwise unexpected surprise. In the Eclipse Saga by Joe Schoeder Jr., it's mostly a first person narrative. The protagonist notices her touching her belly and such, but we all figure out what happens after this break in perspective: '' Dimalya walked into Medical, into a veritable flurry of activity. There were over a hundred injured beings standing or in beds, the nurses and doctors were bustling around trying to keep up. As Dimalya stepped inside another group of injured was rushed in. Dr. Corlan brushed past hir, “Dimalya, sorry but either get out of the way or help out.” Dimalya was resting in one of the exam rooms after an hour of helping set bones and clean cuts. Dr. Corlan walked in and slumped down in a chair beside hir, “Thanks so much. We need to talk to Drake about increasing the size of the medical division. Oh, was there anything you needed, or were you just here to help?” Dimalya smiled widely, “I only need to confirm something.” “Well, step into my office and we’ll get you set up.”''